emo mode

Friday, August 07, 2009

I admit it. I've always thought Kris Aquino was irritating and maarte. I'm sure many people feel the same way. I can't count the times I shook my head after hearing something she's said or done. I've rolled my eyes a million times when she'd brag that she bought this or that, or how she's been to this country.

But the past few days, I've seen a different Kris.

One that I can relate to.

I've heard some people say that she was her normal overacting self when she couldn't stop crying every time she's interviewed. I dare these people to say the same thing after they've gone through numerous checkups, waiting for test results, taking care of a mother undergoing radiation therapy & chemotherapy and having them die in your arms. I doubt if they can still say that.

It's been 4 years since my mom passed away. And not a day goes by when I don't think of her and wish she was still here with us. Losing a parent is without a doubt one of the most difficult events in life a person can undergo. Lalo na kung nakita mo kung gaano naghirap yung taong mahal mo.

Kaya siguro sobrang affected ako nung namatay si Tita Cory. Not only because she's a fellow Scholastican that I really admire but because in some way, alam ko yung hirap na pinagdaanan nya at ng pamilya nya.

Sobrang nakarelate ako sa lahat ng sinabi ni Kris. Lahat ng kwento nya about staying in the hospital to take care of her mom, waiting for test results, talking to the doctors about her mom's condition, how painful chemo is, not only for the person undergoing it but for the family too. Ang hirap makitang nasasaktan yung mahal mo tapos di mo alam kung paano mapapabuti yung nararamdaman nya.

I wouldn’t wish cancer on even my hatest enemy.

Someone told me before that at least we were prepared for the eventuality of death, because it was cancer and not a heart attack or a sudden death. I said that for me it was harder. It’s easy to say that you’re prepared for that eventuality but when you’re in that moment, IT’S NEVER EASY.

The hardest thing to do is to let go. But sometimes you just have to, because if you’re holding on but the person you love is suffering, ang maiisip mo lang, “di bale nang ako ang masaktan, wag lang sha.”