i'm confused again :(

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

I'm soooo confused.

I got my formal job offer last night and their offer was lower than what I asked for but significantly higher than my pay with my previous company. There's a very big chance of promotion in a few months because it's a relatively new center and they are moving to a location that is nearer. It's just in Magallanes. ONe of my friends work there now and he was promoted in 3 months. And if I take the job, I'll be training with another friend.

I made up my mind earlier to take the job offer, but I just got a phone call from another company saying that I'm shortlisted for another position. It's with a company I applied for last year, but I didn't take the offer because I wasn't ready to leave eTel. I got a very good job offer from them last year and if they are going to be offering me the same package then it's going to be bigger than my job offer last night. The office is at The Fort. I have friends in the said company, who are quite happy there, but they are in different departments.

I don't know what to do.

I'm pressured to take the first job offer coz the offer expires at 7pm and it would be awaste to let it go. But I also want to know what the other company is going to offer me.

I need a sign.


I'll blog about my one week vacation in Aklan & Boracay as soon as I figure this out. Hehehe. And as soon as I find the USB cord, so I can post the pictures.

this isn't goodbye, it's just see you soon

Sunday, January 11, 2009

It was my last working day earlier and I had mixed emotions. As early as 3 hours before my shift ended I was literally counting the minutes until I logged out. And with that I left with renewed optimism and I must admit, a heavy heart. Officially my last day will be on Jan. 16, but as of today, I am on my terminal leave.

I've been thinking how to compose my farewell letter and I've had a lot of drafts.
OO, pinagisipan ko tong mabuti :) Since the day I started thinking about moving on, I've been trying to compose it. I've had funny drafts, cheesy ones, dramatic drafts. But, Ive decided to write when I really felt like it.

Go with the flow. No drafts. Straight from the heart.

I've spent some of my best & worst times in eTel. I've established friendships that will last a lifetime and I've learned an awful lot of things. Not just about the industry, but about myself and about people.

I admit that I was one of the people who didn't think highly of the industry. Oo na, snob ako. I found it ironic that I went into this industry thinking that, but I am really glad I became one of the vampires (figurative yun ah. haha). And that I have been proven wrong.

I'm thankful that I've met friends like
YOU. You made going to work enjoyable. You guys did the impossible. You actually made me want to go to work. Yes you did. This was the first job I had that didn't feel like a job or a chore. So when I stopped feeling that way, I felt it was time for me to move on.

Vonage Wave One, kayo ang unang dahilan kung bakit nag-stay ako. I told myself before I started training that if I didn’t like my batchmates, I wouldn’t show up the next day. Damn the bond! (ang bond na panakot lang pala, hehe). From 25 iilan na lang tayo. I hope that for everyone that remained, you’ll reach all your goals and that you’ll always be happy. I enjoyed every minute we spent together.

To my Superfriends, sabi nga ni Dads, you added flavor to my life. Thank you sa lahat ng bonding moments: inuman, kantahan, asaran, iyakan, tawanan, lakwatcha, movie days, overnights, summertrip. Lahat lahat. Hindi ko na iisa-isahin, you know who you are and you know how special you guys are to me. Amameshu!

To the Sprint Champs: It was fun while it lasted. I had a blast cooking up ideas with you guys. And we had a lot of them. Sayang hindi na-follow through, but I hope someday, yung mga plans natin dati hindi lang sa paper. Maging reality na. Di ko pa din naabutan yung Champs jacket. Hahaha, gawa nalang tayo ng sarili natin.

To my trainers, Steffie, Alu, Mikey, Miggs at ang matagal nang nang-iwang si Chester (hehe): Thank you for imparting your knowledge and for being enthusiastic about it, kahit madaming pasaway (ouch!) At some point I wanted to be like you, but narealize ko na hindi yun ang forte ko. Hahahaha! I appreciate the guidance and tips, but it wasn’t meant to be. DI ako bitter. Ahaha! May disclaimer.

Vonage friends: Team Anna, Kria, Ronan, Alfie, John, at Anna uli, na unti unti nang nalalagas. Na dati pag naglalakad ako sa floor, bawat quadrant may tatawag sa kin, na naging dahilan kung bakit ako muntik nang ma-late sa paglog-in kasi bebeso at chichika pa ako. Hehehe. Miss ko na yung mga masasayang araw natin sa Makati. From GB to ACS, here’s to the number one rated digital phone service! ^_^

To Sprint Wave One & Team Orion, you made my first few months in Sprint bearable. Hahah! Ang team na laging kina-career ang dress up your quadrant days. Na gumawa pa ng “costumes” sa bahay namin nung off. In fairness, nanalo tayo. Haha!

Team Kolokoy (Alfie),here’s to more GAs kila Mommy G (sana makasama na ako :p). Nasabi ko na lahat ng gusto kong sabihin dun sa spamming natin before tayo mag-hiwahiwalay, but let me thank you again for embracing me in your team back in August. Bum bum dee bum will always remind me of you guys.

Team Kotics, thank you sa pagtanggap sa akin. Sad na sandali lang tayo magkakasama but I enjoyed being part of the team. TL, Nangangatog pa din ako sa takot. Hehehe.

To the LCB Teams and the teams assigned to me, Team Francia & Team Ziggy, thank you for putting up with me. Hahaha! Sensha na if I have masungit moments. I’ve learned a lot from you and I hope you learned something from me, too.

To my TLs & SMs, Anna, Ronan, Alfie, John, Paul, Cy, Kria, Nardz, Kayeser, Karen, Margaux, Abby & Cha. Thank you for your guidance and for making me believe that I can do better. Thank you for pushing me to be the best I can be and for believing in my abilities. Sorry for my pasaway moments, hehehe.

My TL friends, Jayme (whoo! For more overnight trips!), Francia, Hawie, Rye, Tin, KB, Skelliebelly, Revery: even if I wasn’t part of your teams you were always there for me. Thank you for the advice, guiding words, happy times. I truly appreciate it.

And how can I forget my SME family? We’ve been through a lot last year, there were lots of ups and downs but I wouldn’t trade it for anything coz it only made our bond stronger. Most of us have left and moved on to bigger and brighter things but the bond remains. Here’s to more summer trips, movie days, team lunches sa Shang, and reunion parties kila Carlo (hehe, vinolounteer?). I wish you all the best and I know that wherever we all decide to go, we’ll succeed. Sabi nga ni Chris, “This is the BEST Team EVER!” Love you guys! May separate letter ako na ginawa. Hehehe.

OMG. Ang haba nito. This is how much eTel has touched my life.

Again, my heartfelt thanks. I am going to miss you all.

This isn’t goodbye, it’s just see you soon!

this is it :)

Saturday, January 03, 2009

I don't believe in horoscopes and predictions but I like reading them. Hehehe, nakakaaliw lang basahin coz sometimes it really fits my situation. Take this one for example:

"Don't allow fear of change to paralyze you.

The card in the Blocks position points to self-undermining tendencies, areas where you could be in denial, where you could get stuck -- unless you examine yourself and make some corrections.

You feel a need to change yet are fearful of doing anything about it. You are stuck. It's important to remember that nothing you can lose is truly yours, and what is truly yours never will be lost for long. Your essential nature, your eternal identity, your basic quality of being is unique and permanent. No amount of change will rob you of who you really are.

Release your attachment to appearing any particular way to yourself or anyone else. In turn you will free yourself to go through what is in front of you and gain the benefit1s."

It's so me! I just read it today, a few hours after I submitted my letter of resignation to my immediate supervisor. Ano daw?! Letter of Resignation?!

Yes, you read that right. After 4 retractions, I finally had the courage to do it.

It's only the 3rd day of the year and I've already made my 1st major decision. Papanindigan ko na ito. I've been evaluating my life for the past few months, and a few days after 2008 ended, I've come to a conclusion: that it's finally time for me to make a move, spread my wings and leave my comfort zone. I've been dragging myself to work the past few months and I'm not happy at all. I figured why stay if I'm miserable?

It was not a spur of the moment thing. Ang tagal ko to pinagisipan. But earlier while I was composing my LOR, there was no hesitation, unlike before that I had second thoughts. Of course I'm still scared, but this time, I know I will and I have to overcome my fears and apprehensions.

Our Operations Manager hasn't signed it yet and I'm still not sure if he'd let me leave on the day I noted on the letter, but one thing's for sure: there's no turning back. :)

Wish me luck!

year end survey

Friday, January 02, 2009

I was browsing my old blogspot and I found the year end survey I did last 2006. I thought it would be nice to answer it again and reminisce on my 2008. :)

What did you do in 2008 that you'd never done before?

travel a lot in the summer. ignored the idle chatter coz i know and the people who know the real me, knows the truth (redundant mashado :p)

Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I haven't kept a new year's resolution. Ever. I always say I'll do it this time but I never have. Hehehe.

Did anyone close to you die?
My great aunt passed away 5 days before Christmas but we're not close. It doesn't change the fact that it's still sad.

What countries did you visit?
Sadly... none.

What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008?
Stability. More moolah. hihi

What date from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
Summer of 2008. Bonding with family & friends

What was your biggest achievement of the year?
become more independent, stayed focused no matter what

What was your biggest failure?
giving up a lucrative job offer

Did you suffer illness or injury?
thankfully, nope

What was the best thing you bought?
hehe, babaw lang, but i loved the chocolate cookies my sister introduced me to. sobrang na-addict ako dun. hahaha!

Whose behavior merited celebration?
mine. my sme friends (c'mon, sobrang pagtitimpi :p)

Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
not worth naming

Where did most of your money go?
bills and food. travel expenses

What did you get really, really, really excited about?
summer trips

What song(s) will always remind you of 2008?
disturbia, with you, forever, lucky, i'm yours, dami pa :p

Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? -- sadder
ii. thinner or fatter? -- the same
iii. richer or poorer? -- richer (ng konti :p)

What do you wish you'd done more?
sleep, have dinner with my postepeeps,

What do you wish you'd done less of?
being disappointed, eating (haha! i say that every year)

How many one-night stands?

What was your favorite TV program?
house, er, grey's anatomy (hehe, puro medical drama?), 30 rock, october road

Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
hate is such a strong word. disappointed & indifferent maybe

What was the best book you read?
well the only books I've read this year were the Twilight books. It's not the best, but I loved it :)

What was your greatest musical discovery?
Hehehe... I didn't like R&B before but I found myself liking alot of R&B this year. Through the years I've been more inclined on the rock/alternative genre, not this year though.

What did you want and get?
real friends

What was your favorite film of this year?
naman.. obvious na ang sagot ko dito :p

What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
i was on birthday leave, didn't do much but rested :p how old? wag na! :p

What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
hmm.. i haven't thought about it yet

How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008?
hehe, largely dependent on my mood. if not in the mood to dress up, it's jeans, tshirt & flipflops to work. of course, there'smy staple black blouses :p

What kept you sane?
My friends, and writing.

Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
edward.. este, rob pattinson pala ;)

What political issue stirred you the most?
sad to say, i've become apathetic to the political issues. but just recently, I became so incensed when I read the blog about this corrupt warlord of a politician who beat up a businessman and his 14 yr old son, a day after Christmas at Valley Golf. Grabe!

Who did you miss?
a lot of friends who moved on to better things :)

Who was the best new person you met?
Team Kolokoy :)

Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008:
1. It doesn't matter what others say as long as you know and the people who matter to you know the truth.
2. The best way to recover is to let go and move on. It's no use dwelling over the past as you can't change it. Instead, make the present count and look forward to the future.

What was the nicest thing someone told you about yourself:
I know the real you.

the most touching experience you've had this year?
What touched me the most was how a bad situation made the bond between my sme family stronger.
Then there was a time na hindi kami naguusap ni Dads, sobrang nakakalungkot yun, umiyak ako sa cr nung bati na kami. hehehe, yaw ko kasi may makakita.

What did you like most about yourself this year?
i stood up for what i believed in, made a lot of new friends

What did you hate most about yourself this year?
how i became so affected about everything and it made me feel a lot of disappointments

Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
If the mind keeps thinking
You've had enough
But the heart keeps telling you
Don't give up
Who are we to be questioning
Wondering what is what
Don't give up
Through it all
Just stand up

Was 2008 a good year for you?
It started great, by the middle of the year there was a bit of turmoil. towards the end of the year, things are a bit better

What was your favorite moment of the year?
summer trips with family & friends. annual summer outing with my cousins in Laguna, SME overnights in Antipolo & Nasugbu. Puerto Galera with the Superfriends.

What was your least favorite moment of the year?
Board room meetings which never ended well. There's always bad news when we had the meetings at the board room. It became so bad, my teammates and I have come to hate that boardroom.

Where were you when 2008 began?
at home :D

Who were you with?
dad, sister & brother

Where will you be when 2008 ends?
i was at the office

Who will you be with when 2005 ends?
my team mates

Do you have a new years resolution for 2009?
venture out of my comfort zone :) totoo na to!

What was your favorite month of 2008?
April & May

Did you lose anybody close to you in 2008?
You don't lose people because you don't own them.

Did you miss anybody in the past year?
I missed close friends who resigned after the "fiasco"

What was your favorite record from 2008?
There were several records I liked in 2008: We Sing. We Dance. We Steal Things. by Jason Mraz; Viva La Vida by Coldplay, Year of the Gentleman by NeYo, Good Girl Gone Bad: Reloaded by Rihanna, Riot! by Paramore (techinically this was a 2007 album whiche I liked in 2008)

Did you drink a lot of alcohol in 2008?
only during summer

do a lot of drugs in 2008?
nope, legal or illegal. ehehe

Did you do anything you are ashamed of this year?

How much money did you spend in 2008?
I don't want to know.

What was your proudest moment of 2008?
when i stood up for myself :)

What was your most embarrassing moment of 2008?
ay madami yun, haha! wag na lang. secret na lang

If you could go back in time to any moment of 2008 and change something, what would it be?
Turning down a lucrative job offer back in July because I wasn't ready to leave my comfort zone

What are your plans for 2009?
Become a better me. Venture out into the world. Leave my comfort zone (I've said that quite a lot haven't I? Hehe, kasi feeling ko ready na ako)

How are you different now that the year has ended?
I'm not afraid anymore.

What are your wishes for the new year?
Better, brighter, more fulfilling, richer 2009 :D