kalokang bus story

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

I've always said commuting home is fun because of the people watching and in this case, eavesdropping. Hehehe!

I was on my way home this morning and as usual, I rode the bus to NAIA. As soon as I stepped inside the bus, I heard a man's talking loudly. At first I thought he was talking to his seatmate, but then I found out he was talking to someone on the phone.

I took the seat opposite his seat and as I was fumbling for my fare, the man said, "Ay pare, eets so preemeeteeb (primitive) here. And I heb meyni karteyns por yu." (ano daw? ah! CURTAINS pala!) Grammar Nazi me was startled and had to stifle a laugh. I couldn't help but eavesdrop for the guy was talking so loud, I think the whole busload of people could hear him clearly. He kept talking to his friend in Carabao English (you know, the kind of English popularized by Jimmy Santos back on the 80s & 90s) and I actually wanted to tell him, "Kuya, magTagalog na lang tayo."

I tried to ignore him, believe me I did. But I don't think he wanted to be ignored. Yung tipong, balikbayan sha from somewhere na gustong magyabang kaya English ng English kahit balubaluktot. Shempre may pagkamaldita ako, text agad ako sa friends ko :p

Okay lang sana if what he's saying is positive, but he kept criticizing his environment, as in it's primitive and all. I had to stop myself from saying, "Kuya, kung primitive pala dito, bakit bumalik ka at bakit nagba-bus ka? di sana bumili ka or nagrent ka ng limo diba?" I'm sorry, mukha kang karpintero (no offense meant to carpenters, parang ininsulto ko pa nga sila sa pagcompare ko sa kanila with this guy).

Unfortunately for me and the other passengers, there was bit of a traffic jam in EDSA (so what else is new?) and we had to endure his presence a bit longer. The guy, who was seated behind the driver, tapped the driver's shoulder and said, 'Kowya, wer is Bweynja (Buendia)?" Bwahahahaha! Hagikgik talaga ako. Malas na lang ni kuya nasa Ayala na kami at nakalampas na ng Buendia or Gil Puyat Ave. as it's now called. Naiiyak na ako kakapigil ng tawa ko, pero hala, text pa din ng text sa mga friends about the guy.

The call ended but he got another call and it was from his pangga. By then, we were at the Magallanes flyover. The guy exclaimed, "Oh aym skerd hani, da bus is preemeeteeb, ay mayt pol in the oberpass" (translation: "Oh, I am so scared, honey. The bus is primitve, I might fall in the overpass.). Kaloka! Itulak ko kaya sha?

The driver and the conductor were already shaking their heads and my seatmate and I looked at each other and tried to stifle our laughs (again). Then the guy said, "Aym wandering (wondering) why there are no flying tour buses here." Hello?! Kuya, saang lupalop ka naman nakakita ng flying tour bus? May sapi sha!!! Di ko na napigilan, tawa na talaga ako ng tawa, pati yung katabi kong guy, tawa na din ng tawa. Nakakaloka si kuya!

By the time we got to MOA, I felt the beginnings of a terrible headache. The guy was still talking to someone on the phone. Then he said, "Pare, i gotta go, bababa na ako. See you in hell." WTF?! Pagbaba nya lahat ng tao sa bus tawa ng tawa.

Whoo! Another memorable bus ride for me ^_^