Monday, March 03, 2008

Last week, one of my closest friends at work texted me asked me if I'll be free on Mar. 1 (last Saturday). I told him I'll be on leave and asked him why he had to text, when I was on the same floor a few meters away from him. He just said, "Wala lang".

I got intrigued so I told my team I was going to the ladies' room (hehe) and walked to his workstation, which is actually on the way to the ladies' room. So I didn't entirely lie to my team, I was gonna go there, but after speaking with my friend.

I called his name as I approached him, and asked him why the cryptic text. He smiled sheepishly and seemed uncomfortable. He was about to tell me why when my least favorite person in the world (who happens to be his favorite person) passed by, to go to the ladies' room. Typical me was just deadma. I didn't even look at her but I saw him trying to steal a glance of her. Then it hit me. Whatever it is he's trying to tell me has something to do with her.

I looked back at him and was a bit startled that he was looking at me with those big sad eyes. He held my hand and said, 'Jen, if I ask a favor from you, would you grant it?" Fully aware what he was asking me to do, matigas-na-pusong-Jennie said, "As much as I love you my friend, I cannot do what you're asking me to do."

He looked even sadder and I felt for him coz I know he's torn. He just asked me why. And I told him I don't think it's the right time to patch things up. He said, "Not even for me?" I told him, "If I talk to her just because you asked me to it wouldn't be sincere on my part and I don't want that. If and when I'll talk to her, it has to be because I want to, not because someone asked me to." I know it sounded a bit harsh but I'm not a hypocrite.

Then he said, "Can I ask why you're mad at her?" I told him there are a lot of reasons why and I'm not comfortable telling him that because I know he'll get hurt. He asked if it had something to do with him and their situation. I told him it's part of it but it's something deeper than that. He kept asking me what the reasons are, but I couldn't make myself tell him so I tried to change the subject. "Baket mo tinatanong kung ano gagawin ko sa leave ko?" He still couldn't tell me and then he tried changing the subject back to her. So I said, "Okay, whatever it is that's happening on Mar. 1 & 2 has something to do with her, right?" He just nodded and said, "Punta tayong Galera."

Ayun. Finally, nasabi din nya. Hehehe. Kaya gusto nya ako makipagbati para sama-sama kami sa Galera. Engk.

I told him I couldn't go for a number of reasons. And no, her being there is not one of the reasons. I actually couldn't care less if she's there. Bitch na kung bitch, pero kahit naman sa office or even if nasa cr kami pareho okay lang sa ken. Deadma. Salbahe nga ako kasi di ko na talaga napapansin if nandun sha. Non-existent. Napapansin ko lang na magkasama kami sa isang room pag nilalakasan nya boses nya na parang nagpapapansin. Even then, deadma pa din. Bad ko no?

Sorry, I digressed, hehe. I couldn't go because 1. I'm on kuripot mode. No trips, frivolous purchases until further notice; 2. It was mom & dad's anniversary; 3. I just wanted to sleep because I've been rendering OT for the past 2 weeks. He said he understood but I know he's still a bit hurt.

After our talk, we went back to normal, like nothing happened, but as I was on my way home, I thought, "Is he right? Should I patch things up with her already?"

I was bothered but I didn't dwell on it. When I woke up, I had several text messages from friend #1 asking me again if friend #2 and I could follow them to Galera. I told him I can't and wished them a good time. The other text came from friend #2. He got the same text and was asking me if we'd follow. I told him I couldn't. He said he's not going to follow as well because like me, he's also on kuripot mode . Then he asked me if I'm really on kuripot mode or is it because she's there. And I told him, "C'mon, kelan ba ako umiwas sa kanya? Deadma naman ako lagi." He agreed and said he remembered an instance we were about to go out but she said she couldn't go when she heard I was gonna be there.

Then I asked friend #2 if our situation is making things difficult for them. He said for him not really, but it is quite difficult for friend #1. I told him sometimes I tell myself to talk to her already bu tI can't make myself do it. He said it was just my pride. I don't know. Maybe he's right. Pero di ko talaga feel.