trapped

Friday, June 30, 2006

Starting Monday, I will be training for my new job.

Yes, I am embarking on a new career path.

It feels weird. I know I should be happy but if I'm going to be completely honest, I'm not. I should feel relieved, but I feel trapped.

I don't know if it's because I'm not comfortable with new settings. It's like the first day at a new school all over again, where I don't know anybody and I don't know my surroundings. I don't like the feeling of not being in control.

Or maybe it's because I felt I had no choice but to accept the job offer. I turned down their first offer a couple of months ago, but out of the blue they called last Wednesday and gave me a better job offer. On the very same day that I felt helpless and verging on panic mode.

I thought to myself, maybe that was the call I've been waiting for. It came at the right time and I thought it was stupid to turn it down. It fell on my lap and it was mine for the taking. But it wasn't the job I saw myself doing. The job promised to me at the Insurance firm is still in limbo and I felt like they just left me hanging. No one could give me a straight answer if I was going to get it or not. To say that I was getting frustrated is an understatement.

Then the call from the New Company came.

The opportunity was there and to turn it down would be idiotic, specially given the circumstances I'm in. I guess that's why I feel trapped. Napilitan akong tanggapin yon kasi kailangan, hindi dahil gusto ko.

Don't get me wrong. I am thankful that I found a new job that pays well and it came at the time when I needed it most.

I just wish I had a choice.

8 comments:

Kai said...

You can make it through. Get another job when you've already stabilized yourself financially. You can do it. Best of luck!

tin said...

don't worry, jennie. that could be a blessing in disguise. give yourself time and if things don't work out, you can always quit. :)

Jennie said...

big thanks, kai & tin. :)

it's so weird. now i'm very nervous. as in ang lakas ng palpitations ko. ano ba yun? :p anxiety attack? hahaha!

i'm locked-in for 6 months. i signed a contract that i have to stay at least that long, otherwise, i'll pay for the cost of my training. yikes!

di bale, mabilis lang naman ang six months (sana... :p)

Ginn said...

Ate jen, tsk! ashush! Pish-posh! dont be silly! U can do it! Ikaw pa?! Clear ur mind of things, breathe in deeply, relax, shake your hands, at isipin mo, KAYANG KAYA KO TO! Keep your head up, and flaunt out dem boobies! Ay basta basta, isipin mo si Rob Sneider at si Adam sandler shouting "YOU CAN DO IT!" :-P Isama mo na rin si Sen. Juan Flavier na sumisigaw "JUST DOH IT!" (ngyaha!) :-D :-D hehehehaha!

:-) Kiddin aside, ull do great! Sorta know ur a worry wart, maybe ull get to enjoy urself with the new job once youve gotten a feel of things. ^_^

Ayun! MWAH! ^_^ Ismayl lang, ismayl lang! Bka masira ang beauty! ^_^

Clare said...

omg, tumuloy ka pala!

good luck jennie, alam ko yung mga apprehensions mo about that job pero look at it this way, this could be the start of something even better for you!

God bless, kaya mo yan, ikaw pa!

Giannina said...

hello! kaya mo yan, mabilis nga ang six months! ^^; di nga ako makapaniwala na tumagal ako sa semester ko eh.. hehe.. yun ba yung job offer sa call center? nagtatrabaho din ako sa call center dito eh.. medyo boring minsan, pero worth it.. mataas ang sweldo eh! hehe..

good luck ate jennie!

God bless!

Jennie said...

Ginny: loka ka talaga. Hahaha! thank you for making me laugh. & you are sooo right. I AM a worry wart.

"Keep your head up, and flaunt out dem boobies!"
Hehehe... I might try that next week. Bwahaha! Kidding! Or am I? LOL

Hey, we're at the same building na. I'm assigned at the 16th until next Friday. My sched is from 12nn - 9pm. My break is usually at 4pm. Text me para I can see you. ;)

By the way, one of my colleagues came from your company. He used to be a Communications Coach, and I think you had the same account. He says your name is familiar.

Jennie said...

Clare: Hi mare. Yup, tumuloy ako. And so far, I am liking it. I'm just really negative sometimes :p Thanks for the vote of confidence.

Oooh! and plus, I have a new motivation. Hahaha! Read my latest entry and you'll know what (or who? :p) I am talking about.

Ninin: Thank you, thank you. Yup, it's the call center, but the job they offered me this time was better than the one I wrote about a couple of weeks ago. Kaya, tinanggap ko, and now I am glad I did. :)