on friendship and growing apart

Monday, April 24, 2006

Delinquent blogger logging in. :)

It's becoming a pattern. I've only been blogging once a week for 3 weeks now. And it's not for lack of anything to write about, but rather because I haven't been in a blogging mood. Heck, I haven't even bloghopped (sorry) lately. I think it's because of the weather - it's just too hot to do anything.

Hmm... I've written about this before, right? Hahaha! So things haven't changed.

I've been growing my hair for the past few months and it's now about shoulder length. The thing that irritates me though, is that I haven't been able to enjoy my longer hair because of the summer heat. :( I thought about cutting it, pero parang sayang, diba? It took months to grow it, then I'd just cut it off? No way! Hehehe.. vanity does have a price. ;)

While I was cleaning my room over the Lenten break, I found my shoeboxes of high school letters. Needless to say. I had to read each and every letter. I told myself I should throw it away but I couldn't make myself do it.

I felt a myriad of emotions as I read the letters. Some made me laugh out loud, some made me cry, some letters made me cringe and go "Ewww!", and some made me shake my head and say, "What the heck was I thinking?!"

The letters were mostly from my barkada and it makes me smile when I think about all the things we went through together. Some of them I've known for more than 20 years (since grade school) and the rest about 15 years. Yes, my age is showing. I don't care. :) After all, we've known each other most of our lives and we're still friends. I'll see them again next month for Ria's baby shower and Jacque's homecoming from Singapore, where she's based.

Aside from my best friend, most of my barkada letters came from another friend I've known since the first grade. Reading her letters made me sad because I realized through the years that we've grown apart. Yes, we're still friends, we see each other whenever we can, but now we don't have the depth of friendship that we had in high school and the first few years of college. We went to different universities, but we exchanged letters every week, with my sister as the courier. (yep, may email na noon. hahaha! but nothing beats an honest to goodness handwritten letter). Back then we could talk about anything under the sun. It doesn't matter how trivial it is. Sometimes the letters with trivial things were the long ones, at least 3 pages long and back to back. Sometimes an envelope would contain small pieces of paper with notes about how boring her class was and how she thought about writing me about it. Ganun kababaw, but I appreciated those and I know she appreciated my letters to her, too.

Whenever we see each other now, it feels different. It's like we both have to think of a topic before we have a conversation. It's probably because we have a big group (12 girls + hubbies and significant others). Just imagine our conversations. We're bound to talk in groups or worse talk over each other. Sometimes it's hard to keep track of conversations. :p

I should probably set up a lunch/dinner with just the two of us, but she's currently based out of town and frankly, I'm afraid we'd have nothing to talk about. Haaay... I know I shouldn't think that way unless I want us to grow further apart. Or maybe I'm just being paranoid? What if I'm the only one who feels like this? Hmmm...

Maybe I should set up something when she's back in town. :) After all, I think the friendship is worth it.


Anonymous said...

i know what you mean about it being too hot to do anything...

pati about friendships...wala lang, sometimes it just happens ano pero its sad when you think back on how good friends you were in the past...i know how that feels.

ang init pero ako rin hindi makapag-pagupit, nanghihinayang din ako

had fun chatting girl, sa uulitin!


Jennie said...

hay mare, it's still too hot. i can't wait for cooler weather.

yup, it's sad. but now i'm beginning to think that I may just be being my paranoid self again :p parang what if ako lang pala yung ganun ang feeling, diba? haha! labo ko ba?

sobrang pinag-iisipan ko if magpapagupit ako. nate-tempt na ako.

i, too had fun chatting :) till next time! ;)