emote mode?

Thursday, September 22, 2005

I've been trying to blog for days. In fact, I have several drafts saved on blogger. I haven't published them for the following reasons: 1. I don't feel good about the entry, 2. I decided not to post another entry because that particular entry could make a situation worse, 3. It's not worth it to post my views on a certain person - suffice to say, she's not worth writing about (mwahaha!) 4. I'm bored out of my wits and I am overthinking my entries again. :p

I decided to just type whatever comes to mind. No proofreading before publishing. If I don't feel right about this entry, I could always delete it. Hehehe.. but knowing me, I wouldn't. I probably won't publish it, but I'll keep a copy somewhere on file. Siempre, manghihinayang naman ako sa sinulat ko. :p

I went to St. Luke's this morning to get Mom's Medical Records, which I need for something. I decided to read it on the way to the office. After reading the first page, I found myself tearing up again, which turned into a mini-bawl (much to the discomfort of our driver :p) I couldn't stop myself no matter how I tried, coz the things that happened on May 29, 2005 replayed in my head. In fast forward. Weird.

I finally stopped crying as we were traversing the Makati-Mandaluyong bridge. The tears stopped so abruptly, I had to laugh. I have a feeling our driver thinks I was going nuts this morning. Nyahaha!

It was a good cry, which I hadn't done in a while. I mean, I miss mom immensely, but I haven't cried like that since a few days after her funeral.

When I got to the office, I could feel all their eyes on me. Di ko maexplain, basta, pakiramdam ko lahat ng mata sa akin nakatingin. :p My ninang asked what happened to me. That's when I realized that I wasn't able to conceal the puffiness of my eyes and my nose was still quite red. Kakaines! Bale-wala yung pag-retouch ko, halatang-halata pa din na umiyak ako. What made it worse was that I was wearing a pink blouse, which emphasized the redness of my nose and the puffiness of my eyes. Heehee! Mukha siguro akong maga, kanina.

Gawd, I hate PMS. Uh... too much info, sorry. But that's the most plausible reason I could think of, why my tear ducts went on overdrive earlier. :)


Anonymous said...


hope you're feeling better now mare


Jennie said...

thanks, clare. emote mode didn't last long :)

happy weekend!