Saturday, February 26, 2005

My mom and I have always had strong mind links. I'd think about calling her on the phone, then the phone rings and she's on the other end of the line. Or I'd pick up the phone to call her and I'd be surprised to hear her voice already on the other line. I won't even hear the phone ring, I'd just pick it up intending to call her, but she's already there calling me. Sometimes I get this urge to call her, and when I do, she'd tell me that ahe was just thinking about calling me and I beat her to it.

Middle of this week, it was my sister and I who had some sort of "telepathic moment". Wednesday night I was in the living room and I happened to look out the window and I saw the moon. It was a full moon, it was the brightest I've seen it in a while and it was big. I thought it was beautiful and I texted my sister. I told her that the moon was so beautiful and it would be nice to photograph. She texted back saying that when my message reached her, she and mom were in the car talking about the moon. Hehe.. we were thinking about the same thing :p

The next day, I accompanied mom for her chemo session. When mom went inside the doctor's clinic to have her treatment, I sent my sister an SMS to update her. She texted back saying she was just about to text me to asking me how things are going. The people with me in the waiting area were startled when I laughed. Feeling like an idiot because they were looking at me, I sent my sister another message: "Ahaha! mind connect na naman. Iba-blog ko toh!" She replied, "Naisip ko rin yan! Grabe. Tama na nga! :))" Hahaha! Psychic moment. :P

I succumbed to curiousity. I viewed Paris Hilton's hacked T-mobile account address book. Wahahahaha! Curiousity got the better of me and I just had to see for myself. Sheesh. I don't even like her, but I felt this urge to see what the fuss was all about, plus of course, I wanted to see which celebrities were in her address book. :p Ano ba yun?! I know it would be pointless to know the telephone numbers and email addresses of the celebrities, coz by now, they've all changed it. But still, I wanted to see it. Hahaha! Nakakatawa na nakakainis. I didn't think I'd be one of the people who'd be checking it out.

So how's your weekend, so far? :)

is it summer already?

Thursday, February 24, 2005

Summer is definitely in the air. I spent the better part of the morning and early afternoon on the road and it was scorching hot!

I felt like I was inside an oven whenever the car was stationary on the road. When the rays of the sun hit my skin, it felt like I was sizzling, which made the trip kinda irritating. No exagerration. Sobrang init talaga kaninang tanghali. Even the air coming out of the aircon was warm. It would only become cooler if we're under a shade or if the car is moving fast. If we were stuck in traffic earlier, I wouldn't be surprised if I had heat stroke (knock on wood!)

It's only the last week of February and I already feel the sweltering heat. I can only imagine how hot it would be in March and on my birthday month. Dali! Swimming na!!!

Mom had her 1st chemo cycle (for this session) this morning. After dropping off my brother in school, we proceeded to Dra. Gorospe's clinic, just in time for mom's 11 am appointment. A little before 12, she was called in, and her chemo was administered.

I brought a thick book with me, so I wouldn't get bored while waiting. But I was surprised at how fast mom's treatment was today. She was done in an hour! Looking back, I think that's the fastest chemo treatment she's had. Previously, the least amount of time was 4 hours, the longest was 8 hours, which required an overnight stay in the hospital.

After eating lunch at the hospital cafeteria, we were on the way home.

As I write this, mom is resting in their room. She's feeling a bit woozy, although I think it was more because of the trip home, than the chemo itself. Usually the effects would set in, in a day or two. Her doctor said the effects of the chemo drugs used this time, is milder compared to the previous ones used. She even said mom could go to work if she wanted to. :)

We'll have to wait and see how the medicines would affect mom. I'm praying she'll have less discomfort. It's too early to tell, but it looks promising. Even now she's looking forward to the company outing in two weeks. :)

Tomorrow is the 19th anniversary of the EDSA People Power Revolution. And although we rid the country of a dictator and we regained our freedom, things doesn't seem so different to me now. Maybe I feel like this because I wasn't born yet when Martial Law was declared, and I was too young and too naive to know how important regaining our freedom was. But the old faces are back (they just disappeared for a few years, but now some of them are back in power), the economy is still struggling. The human rights victims still haven't received true justice.

People may disagree with what I wrote and it pains me to say that, coz I know we're capable of so much more. And yes, there has been a bit of progress and the freedom we have is indeed precious. It's just disheartening to see that after 19 years we're no where near what we could potentially be. Maybe it's true that we have short memories or maybe even selective memories. Or are we just too forgiving? Isang sorry lang, okay na agad. There should be a corresponding repentance for every act that was forgiven.

Forgiveness is right, but we shouldn't forget that easily.

Holiday tomorrow. Enjoy the long weekend! :D

random thoughts on a monday

Monday, February 21, 2005

My cousin Lon's band, Version, was on Jam 88.3 FM's Jam Sessions last night. Woohoo! Celebrity moment :p I hope it will be the start of bigger things for them. :)

One of my friends sent me the Friends coffee table book. I haven't recieved it yet, but needless to say, I am so excited to get it. I've been a fan of Friends since it started and I've never missed a show. I used to tape every episode and me and my friend Eloi would watch it at home ater class. Haha! I still watch the reruns, even if I've seen it lots of times, that I can say the lines with them. :p

I watched The Godfather for the first time yesterday. Yup, first time! Even I can't believe that I haven't watched it before. I'm glad I did, coz I would have missed a masterpiece. I'm not really a fan of mafia films, but I liked this one. It was great to watch acting luminaries Marlon Brando, James Caan (haha! guapo pala sha nung bata sha :p), Robert Duvall and of course, Al Pacino.

I've only watched The Godfather 3 before and I didn't appreciate it because I missed the backstory. Now that I've watched the first, the loose ends are tying up in my head.

I plan to watch all three films one day. Hehe!

There were two songs on my music mode entry that no one guessed correctly. Here are the titles:

6. This chirping lullaby/ Brings my little dreams to life/ In my sanctuary I become a child Goodnight - Barbie's Cradle

11. Your eyes burn, they burn with passion/ And you hypnotize me Come - Urbandub

hodge podge

Saturday, February 19, 2005

With all the things going on around me, I completely forgot that it was my blogspot anniversary last Saturday. hehehe! I've been blogging for 3 years and Blogger has been my bloghome for a year now. I never regretted moving here from xanga and mydeardiary. The only "problem" is, now that I know html and basic javascript (thank you, dynamic drive and blogskins! :p), I get the urge to change templates at least once a month. In fact, I have at least 15 templates on file. :D

It's been two weeks since our sentra was bumped from behind by the BMW of a very famous and sometimes controversial dermatologist. Our car is still in the shop (ang bagal kasi ng insurance company nya, kaya last week lang nadala sa shop). There was no substantial damage to her vehicle but the bumper and the trunk of our car were really dented. Can you imagine how tough her BMW is? Wawa naman car namin. Haha!

Nope, she wasn't in her car when we got bumped in front of Don Bosco, on the way to the Skyway ramp. Only her driver and an older guy was in the car. I failed to mention, I wasn't there either, so there were no celebrities involved. Nyahahaha! Ang kapal ko talaga. Joke lang :p

I was worried when mom texted me that they were bumped from behind and it's a good thing that no one was hurt in the accident.

Mom will probably start her chemo sessions again by next week. Her doctor advised that it was the best option to take, given the circumstances. She also said that mom's condition wasn't as bad as we thought, and that was music to my ears.

She'll be using a different combination of drugs, because the previous ones used weren't as successful. I was quite relieved when the doctor expressed that the side effects wouldn't be as unpleasant as before. There would still be nausea, vomiting and discomfort, but it will be milder. Besides, mom's doctor gives her medicines to stop nausea, so it wouldn't be as severe as we thought it would be.

We can't say that we're used to it because mom has had several chemo sessions the past few years. Even if we know what to expect, we still worry. In fact, it makes me worry more because of that. But prayers give us strength. And even if there are times I feel like I'm losing faith, I know God is good and He'll never abandon us.

We got through it before, we'll get through it again. After all, prayers work. :)

bloody valentine

Tuesday, February 15, 2005

MANILA (AFP) - Eleven people were killed and at least 53 others were injured in a series of Valentine's Day bombings by suspected Muslim militants that hit Manila and two southern Philippine cities, officials said.

Three people were killed on the spot and about 20 others were injured when a powerful bomb ripped through a passenger bus in the Makati financial district of Manila in early evening, Metropolitan Manila police chief Avelino Razon said.

Full story here

It angers me that terrorist attacks like these still continue. And I will never understand how these people think that what they are doing is right. Not when innocent people are victimized. Pasabugin na lang nila ang mga sarili nila, wag na silang mangdamay ng iba. Mas masaya pa ako dun.

music mode

Monday, February 14, 2005

Happy heart's day, everyone!


"This is the best Grammys we've ever seen, I've ever seen." - Bono, U2
And he was right. It was the best Grammy Awards, I've seen. From the opening number to the end of the show, I enjoyed watching it. There were some awards whom I thought should have been given to someone else, Kanye West was so arrogant, I disliked him, plus J. Lo's performance with her hubby Marc Anthony was, for lack of a better word, "eeeeew!". Super cheesy! as in, ang badui! But, other than the above-mentioned, the 47th Grammy Awards was a great show.

I loved the opening number with The Black eyed Peas, Gwen Stefani & Eve, Maroon 5 and Franz Ferdinand. I also loved the performances of Green Day (woohoo!!), U2 (another woohoo!!), Alicia Keys with Jamie Foxx & Quincy Jones, Joss Stone and Melissa Etheridge & John Mayer. Various artists (Bono, Stevie Wonder, Steven Tyler of Aerosmith, Norah Jones, Billy Joe of Green Day, Alicia Keys, Brian Wilson, Alison Krauss, Tim McGraw, accompanied by Velvet Revolver) also performed "Across the Universe" by the Beatles, in efforts to raise funds for the Tsunami victims. It was the least boring Grammy Awards in history. hehe!

I got this from Rianne's blog (i hope you don't mind, Ri), because I'm on music mode:

Step 1: Get your playlist together, put it on random, and play!
Step 2: Pick your favorite lines from the first 25 songs that play!
Step 3: Post and let everyone you know guess what song the lines come from!
Step 4: Cross out the songs when someone guesses correctly!

1. I'm tired of playing games/ Of looking for someone else to blame/
For all the holes in answers that are clearly showing
Same Direction - Hoobastank

2. If I could take over this world that we're in/ I wanna reach out to every human being A Love to Share - Rivermaya

3. I haven't felt the way I feel today/ Been so long it's hard for me to specify Nice To Know You - Incubus

4. Somewhere far beyond today/ I will find a way to find you/ And somehow through the lonely nights/ I will leave a light in the dark/ Let it lead you to my heart Somewhere, Somehow - Michael W. Smith with Amy Grant

5. 'Di mo napapansin/ Kailangan mo akong dinggin/ 'Di habang buhay ika'y aantayin Suntok sa Buwan - Session Road

6. This chirping lullaby/ Brings my little dreams to life/ In my sanctuary I become a child

7. Here in the light/ It burns you up inside/ Here in the shell of a sun/ We echo on You Say - Vertical Horizon

8. I'm 15 years for a moment/ Caught in between 10 and 20/ And I'm just dreaming/ Counting the ways to where you are 100 Years - Five for Fignting

9. Today is gonna be the day/ That they're gonna throw it back to you/ By now you should've somehow/ Realized what you gotta do Wonderwall - Oasis

10. You're falling back to me/ The star that I can see, yeah/ I know you're out there/ Somewhere out there Somewhere Out There - Our Lady Peace

11. Your eyes burn, they burn with passion/ And you hypnotize me

12. But I'm in so deep/ You know I'm such a fool for you/ You've got me wrapped around your finger Linger - Cranberries

13. I was in love with you when we were younger, you were mine My Boo - Usher feat. Alicia Keys

14. It seems no one can help me now/ I'm in too deep/ There's no way out/ This time I have really led myself astray Runaway Train - Soul Asylum

15. now we're stronger than before/ we've made it through/ now i've never felt more sure/ because of you Till They Take My Heart Away - Clair Marlo

16. I close my eyes and make a wish/ Turn out the lights and take a breath/ Pray that when the wick is burned/ You would say that it's all about love Five Candles (You Were There) - Jars of Clay

17. Woke up to the sound of pouring rain,/ The wind would whisper and I'd think of you I Remember You - Skid Row

18. She keeps her memories locked away/ But they are always escaping/ Neglect won't make them fade away/ They're reaching into her dreams/ Down in her heart/ Don't need fingers to be tearing it apart Green-tinted Sixties Mind - Mr. Big

19. Naaalala mo pa ba noong tayo pang dalawa?/ Di ko inakalang sisikat ka./ Tinawanan pa kita, tinawag mo akong walanghiya/ Medyo pangit ka pa noon, ngunit ngayon... Magasin - Eraserheads

20. I think about you baby and I dream about you all the time Here Without You - 3 Doors Down

21. so what's daddy done for you lately?/ bought you the throne like stealing candy from a baby/ line your pockets with mucho dinero/ paid in full with the blood of the people Mr. Clay - Bamboo

22. I don't know when I got bitter/ Love is surely better when it's gone You Wanted More - Tonic

23. How ever far away. I will always love you/ How ever long I stay. I will always love you Love Song - The Cure/311

24. Fingers trace your every outline/ Paint a picture with my hands/ Back and forth we sway like branches in a storm/ Change the weather still together when it ends Sunday Morning - Maroon 5

25. Ewan ko, hindi ko alam/ Puwede bang huwag na lang natin pag-usapan? Huwag Mo Nang Itanong - Eraserheads

Can you guess the titles of the songs? :)

single on heart's day?

Friday, February 11, 2005

Single on heart's day? No worries. :) Just because you're single on Valentine's Day, it doesn't mean that you should mope and feel sorry that you don't have a significant other. I've always maintained that Valentine's Day is over-rated - that it's just another excuse to blow your salary away. Hahahaha! That sounded bitter. :p But seriously, I do think that it's too commercialized (like any other special occasion). We shouldn't wait till Valentine's Day to show someone how special they are to us.

O sige na nga, I might feel differently if I were in a relationship now and we're celebrating heart's day together. Hahaha! But I think I'll still find it kinda cheesy. It will be fun, but it will still be cheesy. Gosh, do I sound jaded? :p Whatever. The point is, Valentine's Day wasn't created to make single people miserable. :)

I found this article on Cosmo magazine's website: and I thought I'd share it. :)

The Unattached Cosmo Girl's Guide to Surviving Valentine's Day

The prospect of spending Valentine's Day alone can make even the most empowered single girl quake in her stilettos. As February rolls around, we begin to wonder bitterly if it's all just a grand conspiracy hatched by evil ad men and vile little Cupid demons to make Hallmark, restaurant owners, and florists rich, while making the rest of us singletons thoroughly miserable. Make this Valentine's more bearable by keeping in mind these singlehood sanity-saving guidelines:

DO find strength in numbers.

Get through the couples' holiday when you're single with a little help from your (single) friends. Rustle up all your unattached friends and make plans to paint the town red. Start out with a cozy, candlelight dinner (for twelve!) at a fancy restaurant, and then stop off at several nightspots, making sure to dance like crazy 'til dawn. You can also ask each friend to bring along another single pal so that everyone gets to meet someone new. Karen, 31, a telecommunications executive recalls how instead of the usual party, they had a 'Papa Potluck.' "Instead of bringing food, however, we each brought a single male friend. One of the guys from that dinner is actually going to be my date this Valentine's!" ...

So take control, single girl, and have a fabulous Valentine's, an even more fabulous February, and a truly fantastic life.

Read the full article here

"I gave her a beautiful middle name, Simone. If she hates Tu, she can always be Simone." -- "Numb3rs" star ROB MORROW on naming his daughter TU MORROW, quoted in The Philadelphia Inquirer.

I feel sorry the kid. Didn't he think that his child would be teased unmercifully because of the name she was given?!

an eventful day

Wednesday, February 09, 2005

Today's an eventful day. :)

It's Ash Wednesday, the start of the Lenten season. Time for reflection, as well as fasting and/or abstinence. No meat today, peeps ;)

To my Chinese friends: Kung Hei Fat Choi or Gong Xi Fa Cai! Hopefully, the Year of the Rooster would bring good luck to everyone.

It is also the season finale of The Amazing Race 6. It was exciting to the last minute. I won't write down who won, coz some people haven't seen it yet. So, even if I want to blog about it, I don't want to spoil it for anyone. :)

Mom also had her CT Scan this morning. We were at Makati Med by 8 am, she was called in by 8:30. The procedure was done by in about 20 minutes, and we proceeded to the Canteen, coz mom hasn't had breakfast yet (she's supposed to fast 4 hours before a CT Scan). We were on the road by 10 am.

We'll get the results in two days and I'm hoping it will be good. I'm ready whatever the result is, coz I think it's better to know, rather than guessing and worrying what it is. Sometimes in my case it's bad to think, coz I tend to think too much. :p

I believe that there are signs everywhere and if we're more observant, we'll see it more often. Sometimes it's hard to find but sometimes it's just there. We see it when we need it the most.

On the day I got the results of mom's bone scan, I was so unhappy and I felt really helpless. Before we went home, we went to SM first, to do some grocery shopping. I told mom and my sister that I'll pass by National Bookstore first and I'll just follow them afterwards.

The first book I saw when I got to NBS was, Chicken Soup for the Surviving Soul. It's the Chicken Soup book about cancer survivors and enduring hope. I've been looking for that book for months and it's always been out of stock. On the day I felt hopeless, it's on stock and it's the first book I saw. It was like Someone from above was telling me that everything will be all right. If that isn't a sign, I don't know what is. :)

It's a good book and it's exactly what we need right now.


Which Sex and the City Player Are You? Find out @ She's Crafty

laughter and prayers

Monday, February 07, 2005

Before I proceed with my blog, I want to thank everybody who left very comforting comments and offered prayers for my mom. My family and I are very grateful. :)

I haven't blogged in days. Obviously. Hehehe. Not that I have nothing to blog about, coz I do. I just don't want to make another sad blog. It gets tiring. It's draining. Writing about it is cathartic, and it certainly takes loads off my shoulders, but I also feel emotionally drained after. It's like I've lost energy after writing it down. Plus, I have my diary for that :p

I tried to blog since Thursday, but I'd rather blog about the positives and not dwell on the negative, so I ended up not writing a single word. Yes, sometimes it's hard to look for something to smile about, especially when one has a problem. But staying positive has more benefits, than moping around all day. Moping never solved any problem.

As the saying goes, "Laughter is the best medicine." I read an article last week, that said that latest scientific research has proven that laughing strengthens the immune system. So laughter doesn't only make people feel better by the release of endorphins, it also improves their health. It's no wonder happy people not only look fit and younger, they also live longer.

I told om about that article I read and she said, "We will laugh our way to recovery." :) I like that.

Last Saturday, we went to mom's oncologist and think it went well in terms of giving us comfort and peace of mind. The doctor was able to give us our options and was able to explain the test results in a way that, although it wasn't exactly good news, made us feel better. She explained the plan of action she intends to take and I'm optimistic about it.

I still believe in miracles. I still have hope and I have faith. I still believe in the power of prayers. And I thank you for including mom in yours.

Wednesday, February 02, 2005

The wait is over. I got the test results at Makati Med this afternoon. Unfortunately, it wasn't the result I was hoping for. We'll know more when we see mom's doctor later this week.

Now, more than ever, we need your prayers.

It hasn't really sunk in yet, maybe tomorrow I'll feel the full brunt of it. I am optimistic, though, that we'll get through it. We've done it before, we can do it again.

I sent my sister an SMS to inform her, as well as my friends Maita, Mylin and Clare. And I'm very grateful for the comforting words of my friends.

I mustered all my strength so I wouldn't cry when mom called me on my cellphone, to ask if I already got it. I took a deep, calming breath before I answered her call. And then I told her. Her voice didn't break, and she calmly asked me to read it to her, and I did. I could feel my chest tightening so I told her I was already on the way to her office.

While waiting for her at the parking lot, I broke down. I thought it would be better for me to let it all out before I see her. At least by the time she gets to the car, I'm more composed. As much as possible, I don't let mom see me cry, coz I know she gets affected by it.

We held hands from the moment she got in the car, all the way to Museo to pick up my sister. Near the Malate Church i laid my head on her shoulder and the tears began to fall again. I couldn't help it. Mom told me not to cry, that all will be better because God will always be there for us. Di Niya kami pababayaan.

That's how strong my mom is. Sha pa ang nag-comfort sa akin.

Please include my mom in your prayers.

Again, my heartfelt thanks,

the waiting game

the anticipation is killing me. time and again i've said that i hate waiting, but this time it's worse.

one part of me wishes i've already seen the results, and the other part says to wait because i am not ready to know.

my stomach is in knots. i'm turning into a nervous wreck.

i hope and pray that mom's test results are fine. i've been psyching myself since yesterday, when she took the tests, but i'm still on pins and needles.

only 3 and a half hours to go until i get it.