i'm ranting again

Wednesday, April 07, 2004

I was fuming mad earlier. As in magtago-ka-na-kung-ayaw-mong-madamay kind of mad.

Lola F & I were going to St. Luke's again to visit her brother-in-law (to comfort her sister-in-law who was understandably in such low spirits). Since it was only the two of us in the car, she called my aunt and asked who wanted to go with us. We were going to drop off my cousins at home so anyone of my aunts or cousins, who lived at the compound, could go with us.

Before we left the house, I called my favorite aunt, Tita Belle (Geng & Genrick's mom), to ask who was going with us. And that was when I blew my top. Tita Belle told me that my bwiset aunt and her equally bwiset husband were going with us. THE NERVE! They don't talk to my mom and even me, and they tell things behind our backs, and here they were hitching a ride in our car?!

Since Lola F arrived from Alaska, my aunt hasn't seen her nor even talked to her on the phone simply because Lola is staying with us. Lola has been here for two weeks and she doesn't call. Si lola pa ang tumawag sa kanya, di na nahiya.

Ever since I can remember, that aunt of mine hasn't been on my favorite persons list, coz she's always so contrary. I suspect she has superiority complex, coz she always has to be right. And her husband is a first class a**hole! (Sorry, I just really get mad when I think of them) There have been occasions when her husband has been known to say stuff about my mom, coz mom is the only one vocal about disagreeing with them on certain issues. Then last year my aunt misinterpreted something mom said, which I agreed on. Next thing I knew, they were saying stuff about me & my mom, behind our backs of course.

My aunt knows my mom is battling cancer, and there is always that possiblity that she'll get worse. So we're all living on borrowed time. She doesn't even call to ask how mom is doing, rather we hear some of the negative things she's been saying. Nakakainis talaga sila! She doesn't even remember that when her 14 yr old daughter had to be confined at a hospital for manic depression, we were there to help her out. Whenever they need something, we try our best to help. I'm not saying she has to repay what we've done, coz helping them out was very sincere on our parts, besides they're family. And if there's one thing i remember my late grandmother said, your family is the first to help you out when you're in need.

After all that they have done to my mom, she and her husband would hitch in our car? Hindi naman sa pinagmamadamot ko ang kotse namin, pero nampoocha naman, kung ano-ano sinasabi nila tungkol sa mommy ko, tapos di nila kinakausap, dumadagdag pa sila sa sakit na nararamdaman ng mom ko, tapos ngayon, sasabay sila sa kotse namin? kapal! If not for Lola F, I would have told that to them straight. But Lola F wanted to see them so I kept my mouth shut (which was REALLY, REALLY hard to do).

It was a good thing when we arrived at their place, her husband wasn't there & another aunt was with her. She made a lame excuse that her husband was tired so he opted not to go. I'm sure when he learned that I was gonna be there, he backed out. Coz he knew I wouldn't back down if provoked. My other aunt Neng whispered to me that when I called he was already dressed. He probably thought Lola was going to be driven by our driver. He didn't count on me being there. Hahaha! sometimes it helps when people know that I can be a total bitch when provoked.

It makes me sad that we have this kind of situation. I don't enjoy having resentments about people. Mabigat sa dibdib, sabi nga ng iba. And it's hard to supress how I really feel about them. I don't want to disrespect them, but it's kinda hard to respect someone who acts like that. Di ko naman sila binabastos, coz that wasn't how my siblings and I were brought up by our parents. Nakaka-bad trip lang talaga sila!

Hay naku, asar talaga, Holy Week pa naman... nagkakasala na naman ako.

♥ JeN

PS: When I'm in this kind of mood, naiisip ko, dapat siguro ang blogname ko hindi videokequeen, kungdi MALDITA. bwahahaha!


I am 32% evil.

I could go either way. I have sinned quite a bit but I still have a bit of room for error. My life is a tug of war between good and evil.

Are you evil? find out at Hilowitz.com

Would You Rather...
Wednesday, April 07, 2004

1. Eat a live worm or eat a dead frog? Oh geez, do I have to choose? NEITHER! eeeewww....
2. Lose your long term memory or lose your short term memory? Short term memory (uy, feeling Lucy Whitmore of 50 first dates - hihihi!). I'd hate to lose my memories while growing up, of friends I've known a long time, my family of course. It's like losing my identity.
3. Die without saying goodbye to your friend or your friend dying without them saying goodbye? Die without saying goodbye to my friend.
4. Make a bull mad or make an alligator mad? nyah! wala :p
5. Die in a fire or die drowning? I'd rather die drowning. Dying in a fire is more horrible. It's dying slowly and in excruciating pain. Ouch!

--- from Daily Dirt