valentine musings

Saturday, February 14, 2004


Normally, I wouldn't be this chipper on valentine's day. i always thought that this was just another ploy to make us blow off our paychecks. hehehe! Or it's just another cheesy celebration. Traffic is horrendous, and if you are one of those "slow" persons who didn't book in advance, you'd end up somewhere not to your liking. Bah! That sounded bitter! Hahahaha!

Nah, but really. I was never a "valentine's day kind of person" , whether I had someone special or not. It felt so commercialized, and that everything done on that day felt like it was done just because it was V-day and not because it was a special day. Like it was done only because it was expected.

I personally think that everyday should be valentine's day. That we should try to make everyday special for that special someone, not because it was valentine's day.

But this year, I didn't feel like that. I myself don't understand why. It just felt different this year. I have this very close friend, but in all honesty, I want us to be more than friends. I just don't understand if he's torpe (I don't know the English word for it) or he doesn't like me that much. Eh, it's weird. He's weird. Hahaha! But I'd rather have those moments with him than none at all. Eh, wtf?! That sounded pathetic.

But seriously, I really like him. He makes me laugh and we can talk about anything under the sun, be it serious talks or non-sensical ones. I just can't seem to open up to him about how I feel (shouldn't he be the one to open up first? Or am I being archaic? Is it time for girl power?). We have lots of things in common, music being one of them, and laughing, eating (hehe!), dang it! We even like the same playstation games. Ugh! now I'm all giggly. And I am NOT giggly!

More importantly, he makes me feel special. He made my heart skip a beat again (OMG! Why am I like this? Ask my family, I am NEVER mushy!) He's the first guy to make me smile again after  @#%$! Michael broke my heart (who I hope will not call me anymore. I hope he falls off the face of the earth - bwahahaha! kidding i hope he's happy with that @#%$! girl he left me for).

Now I ask myself, do I just like him coz he made me forget Michael (though I must admit I still miss him sometimes)? Or do I really like him a lot? I guess I have to decide first before we have that talk

Tama na! Ang baduy ko na!!!!